Archive for the ‘fucked up shit’ Category

Ok….first I was SOBER…let’s just get that straight right off. All I was trying to do was be a good dish fairy and put the dishes away….including a wine glass that had a stem.
I am AWFUL with wine glasses, and OBVIOUSLY, I do not have to be drinking from one, or drunk, for that rule to apply. Wine glasses and I are not besties. Wine glasses without stems and I have a much better relationship, but they can’t be too delicate and fancy b/c I am like Lenny from the book/movie Of Mice and Men except I’m not mentally retarded or unusually large, or disfigured.
So back to the massive glass clean up—–
Yeah putting away my nemesis… a STEMMED wine glass… slips from my fingers and literally shatters like I have never seen a glass shatter EVER before….and the distance on this shatter…..JEeeezUss. *sigh*
I am Uber pissed b/c I JUST woke up and had my jammies on & was reheating left overs and merely putting the dishes away while the reheating took place.
I didn’t even know where to begin…….but there were throw rugs involved and dogs live here, so I knew there would be me going outside to shake out the glass— FRONT YARD, not back where the dogs are. So I had to put clothes on……
Then I had to find a broom…..this is not my house and took a phone call to my friend in order to find broom, which by the way has NO DUST PAN. Seriously?? How do you have a broom with no dustpan?? I was told to use the Shark, but to take the bristle roller part out first. Ok…but I still had to sweep the destruction into a pile, and I think the pile of glass was bigger than the actual glass…..obviously just trying to be an asshole. I had no idea how to take the stupid bristle roller out of the Shark and was trying several different make shift dust pans. ALL failures. This resulted in ANOTHER call to my friend in order to learn how to take the roller part out (which turns out is pretty easy). Ok……so I vacuumed up ‘The Pile’ then set the Shark on the counter on which it decided to spit up some of the glass. AWESOME……so I now had to Shark vacuum the counter….or I could have just brushed the glass into the trash from edge of counter, but I wanted to make the Shark eat it’s vomit.
After dumping out the Shark’s vomit into the trash can I used it to go around ALL the edges of the kitchen. *sigh*
Also, did I mention when I was carefully trying to take the throw rugs to the front yard to shake out glass I inevitably spilled glass thru the living room. YEAH.
Anyway……I got the stupid REAL vacuum cleaner out and put it on ‘bare floor’ mode and had to vacuum the kitchen and found MORE glass as I was doing that– REALLY? It was like if you get gremlins wet and they start popping more gremlins all over the place, plus I had to move EVERYTHING….kitchen table….chairs, bar stools……
K….so now the kitchen is a SAFE PLACE……and I had to get the shark back out but WITH the bristle roller thing to vacuum the throw rugs.
All the time the microwave is beeping every so often….reminding me my food is getting cold. Yeah, I already know….Can’t you see I’m busy.
Alright…..throw rugs all vacuumed and looking better than before so that makes me happy…..but I still have to vacuum the entire living room, now.
Who breaks a wine glass in THE KITCHEN and ends up having to vacuum the living room? ME…..of course.
Gaaaahhh……ok……so I vacuum the living room and see tiny glistening pieces of glass basically laughing at me….but that crunching sound the vacuum makes when it is ACTUALLY sucking up those asshole pieces of glass was very gratifying. Love that sound…..
Also….I should never have kids because massive clean up efforts I find SUPER irritating.

So…all last week up until today I was happy and carefree….on vacation….not doing anything….just staying in a hotel, and having a TIME OUT from work and the fucking house I live in, with my ex husband. That all ended today…..I had to leave the hotel and come back to Casa DragonFly and it is really fucking annoying. I didn’t realize how insanely unhappy I am here, until I was able to leave and then had to come back. It is really absolute TORTURE.
I mean I left my ex husband in October and we were officially divorced January 3rd and yet we still have to cohabit-ate in this fucking house….. It is MISERABLE.
It could be worse….we kind of get along…..but trust me, it couldn’t get much worse– especially with not knowing when we can get out of this place. Neither of us can move on….physically, or mentally.
Whatever I have done, whether in this life or a past life…..I PROMISE this torture is FAR beyond any paybacks…..I think I am all squared away on punishment for the rest of my life.
This day sucks because it is HOT HOT HOT here and that alone is life sucking…..I already had to take a nap, and even Sasha doesn’t want to move.
After that I did run a few errands and received a check in the mail…..well with my new Droid phone I ‘can’ make deposits via phone….but my fucking camera phone sucks sooooo fucking bad that EVERY picture I ever take comes out blurry….so after spending about 45mins on this project I gave up……then bitched about it for another 20mins.
I have done laundry and am pretty much packed to go out of town tomorrow….and yes, that will be nice….I get to leave Casa DragonFly again……but what would also be nice is having my own god damn place and WANTING to be home.
*SIGH* Also, I think I am PMSing so that is not helping any of this.
Anyway…..I am opening a bottle of vino and perhaps that will lift my ‘spirits’…..I hope so….because seriously….this place just makes me feel stabby and want to sleep forever :’-(
Somebody PLEASE buy this house already

I’m in Rio…
I Have HIGH HOPES for Rio…..and Brazil, that they get their shit together before the Olympics.
This is my EXTREME Close Up to ONE of the ‘Favellas’…..infamous for gun shots……muggings, kidnapping, drugs, and other sorted excitement.
Sometimes I like to open my balcony door and listen to the waves……I am skipping that this trip and keeping curtains closed…..not that curtains are bullet proof. And not that I ‘REALLY’ think I will be hit by a stray bullet…..but…..I think I have taken enough chances in life 😉
Anywho……I am still glad I am here…..I had a nice dinner and flew with good people and NO drama… all good December….still a THUMBS UP….so far

I actually wrote this in August of 2004….just going thru old writings:

The aroma, the darkness and the stagnant air held my sadness, my heartache and my fears as if its existence was created only by the presence of my weakness.
My soul lay silent in the corners of the room.

I was just thinking that I really wish that someone would just walk through the door and shoot me to death. Nothing too dramatic…… raping or torture just a simple shooting will do. I could hire someone to make sure that it gets done right………….after all that is said and done I could be on Forensic Files.In the dramatization Kip, from Napolean Dynamite, will play the killer and he will ask me where should we do this…………I will open one sleepy eye barely lifting my head off the pillow and answer by saying it doesn’t really matter just let me put on my favorite ball gown…………its red and comes with long gloves.Nothing really bad comes from my death except that the liquor store down the street goes out of business.My quote for that day will be that Hating myself was my destiny and I was willing to die for it.Too bad it wasn’t already tomorrow because I am pretty sure my destiny for tomorrow will be World Peace……………Stupid timing………..sometimes hiring a person to kill you has to come before World Peace

Yeah….well I am sort of a HUGE fan of the ‘Shower Head’ method of ya know….
and when I was in Honolulu the hotel has a kick ass shower massage…but a little rough…..
Problem is I also I also take Pristiq (anti depressent) which basically can be like torture b/c then Climaxes are not always quite so Climatic….
I have a problem with being determined…and after an hr. (or so) I was STILL tormenting my lady bit…..
Finally I gave up mostly b/c I had to get ready for work….and this excess hr in the shower left me running behind
Anywho…this was last week and for the last week I have been wearing skirts w/ no undies b/c I kid you not I think I bruised my clit! WTF!!! This is not even funny..I know it sounds funny, but it is NOT….
I will not go into further detail but the shit hurts…and b/c it is not getting better I am thinking about going to my dr…..
That will be fun…..well I basically spent an hr with the shower head beating down & bruising myself……
so yeah…that is where I am at…..

Red Eye Alert

Posted: February 24, 2010 in fucked up shit, HELP, household, Uncategorized

As I have learned many times….the hard way……some innocently looking bottles of eye ‘solution’, ‘cleaner’, ‘re-wetting’, and ‘disinfecting’ drops……..can effect your eyes in many different ways, especially if you are just grabbing for any eye saving bottle of whatever in a matter of emergency.
Last week I had arrived from a LONG trip and Mr. DragonFly and I were going to dinner…….I was determined to NOT wear my glasses as I feel like a dork in them and save them only for emergencies, or extreme laziness…………
Anyway, my eyes were REALLY dry and I asked Mr. D if he had ‘re-wetting drops’…..he said no, but I was sure I saw a tiny bottle in my cabinet of the bathroom…….Ah Hah……Indeed I found said tiny bottle……How was to know it was actually poison??!! It looked like a re-wetting drop vile and so why would I feel the need to read further………..
Let me tell you why: The reason is is b/c this tiny vile of said ‘re-wetting’ drops was actually a “1 step to a daily protein remover’ and DEFINITELY NOT meant to be inserted directly into one’s eye.
Mr. DragonFly shook his head and acted as if I made a poor choice in assuming this was a ‘re-wetting vile’……..I responded by saying “How was I to know??……Really……the re-wetting bottle looks EXACTLY the same and it was in MY cabinet NOT yours”……..
Apparently this imposter was placed in ‘my’ cabinet by accident…………………
After realizing a partial mistake on his part— Mr. D further informed me to NOT put anything in my eye containing a red tip……This I found VERY useful information……………I had NO idea there was a warning or difference in color of ‘won’t make your eye hurt & water all night/ day” and ‘will make your eye feel better’
So all of you that are behind the times (I guess) and still wearing contacts and do not know this information I pass this VALUABLE information to you.


White Tips= Safe Red Tips= Danger