Archive for the ‘buzz/ drunk blogging’ Category

Do you ever question the food you order?? Maybe in your mind….but have you really actually questioned the food…..You never know there may be answers…..
Tonight I decided to question my Chicken Sandwich…Sam…..I asked for wheat bread and he was delivered on WHITE….already he has the look of shame. I tried to reassure him, but he oozed mayonnaise soaked tears….I suppose it didn’t help that before I decided to directly address the sandwich I ate his other half…..I didn’t catch her name, but her mayonnaise tears were shared.
So now left with just ‘Sam’…I wonder about his past b/c I have never questioned a sandwich. I asked him if he always thought of himself as a sandwich as a little ‘over looked lunchable’ perhaps…meant for better things.
Sam is @ a nice hotel brought to me by room service, but I can see how this also can be degrading because when they lift the top of the room service tray they turn and ask “Will This do?” as if it is a puppy that will be returned and shot if not good enough.
Of course, I accept ‘Ole Sam’ and then start looking at him inquisitively…It’s obvious he is miserable….I think he came that way before I ate the other half.
So I press on asking if he had hopes of his own…..did he see signs for ‘Relief Efforts’ and want to be a volunteer not thinking of himself, a loner, a rebel.
He won’t talk to my but the face of a sandwich says a 1,000 words and all of them insinuate a shrugging of the shoulders and the return question…Why am I HERE?!
Sam…..I don’t know why you are or why I am even here so let’s just call it a night…..
He looks even more sad when I put the chips all over him…..kind of like an eccentric Uncle that is like ‘Why Me?’
There is a tiny Salad on the side of the plate that is young is showing interest in Sam…..maybe by tomorrow he will be happy but in the morning, I will probably eat Sam, and thus break Salad’s heart….and then will have to ask other salad’s from now on what kind of romantic soul I destroyed.
See Most people over look these conversations….b/c they have had enough sleep and this is ridiculous, OH but NOT me…..
You can count on me to be stupid, and/ or ridiculous at ANY time…….

Yeah….well I am sort of a HUGE fan of the ‘Shower Head’ method of ya know….
and when I was in Honolulu the hotel has a kick ass shower massage…but a little rough…..
Problem is I also I also take Pristiq (anti depressent) which basically can be like torture b/c then Climaxes are not always quite so Climatic….
I have a problem with being determined…and after an hr. (or so) I was STILL tormenting my lady bit…..
Finally I gave up mostly b/c I had to get ready for work….and this excess hr in the shower left me running behind
Anywho…this was last week and for the last week I have been wearing skirts w/ no undies b/c I kid you not I think I bruised my clit! WTF!!! This is not even funny..I know it sounds funny, but it is NOT….
I will not go into further detail but the shit hurts…and b/c it is not getting better I am thinking about going to my dr…..
That will be fun…..well I basically spent an hr with the shower head beating down & bruising myself……
so yeah…that is where I am at…..

Junk In The Trunk

Posted: February 4, 2010 in buzz/ drunk blogging, random

So…. Mr. DragonFly and I are watching TMZ and then OF COURSE Kim Kardashian was mentioned & OF COURSE they had to talk about her ass….and I turned to Mr. D and was like what is the deal with guys liking big asses?? Because REALLY I am SOO CURIOUS!! I even asked him if he liked girls w/ big asses…and he rolled his eyes and responded by saying:
Mr. D: What do I always tell you I like in a woman?
Me: tight pussies (but I am kidding b/c he really doesn’t say that)
Mr. D: *rolls eyes*
Me: Ok…..Ok…..you like pale women
Mr. D: *makes motion around lip and chin*
Me: Oh pale people w/ beards!!
Mr. D: I like jaws & chins retard…I mean tits and asses are good, too…..but not like a huge ass just a cute one…..
Me: Well, what is the deal with the ass fetish???
Mr. D: *walks outside to smoke*
Me: I am going to blog about this……ok
Mr. D: FINE (exhaustedly)

Well to begin w/ work kept trying to give me crappy assignments in which I had to report before 11am which is WAY earlier than my normal wake up & they were TOTAL BS assignments anyway so I was like “fuck this can I just take the day off” so that happened Friday & Saturday. Nothing else productive happened as a result except that Mr. DragonFly & I went to see Avatar on Saturday. I think I was still drunk when I woke up and I was getting in trouble for tweeting in my PJs and checking on my blog when I was supposed to be ready to leave for the movie in 10 mins…..but whatever. We got to the movie early…..we went to the Movie Tavern and saw Avatar in 3D and I have to say I REALLY liked it. (Aside from the fact that Mr. D does 3D animation for a living so there was a lot of me going “ALRIGHT ALREADY” Like when they were walking thru the forest and passing the leaves (which was like 90% of the movie)…..I had to hear….”look when they pass the leaves…..Did you see that??” Uh…yeah…..
So anyway…..it is NOT easy for me to sit thru ANY movie so that was kind a feat….and it was a fun experience and I liked that the guy ended up turning into a Noni or whatever. My favorite part was when he said things are turned around and my dreams seem more like reality….b/c like forever ago…..I coined the phrase “Dreams are my faovrite Reality” so I totally got it…and now I want to live with the Noni’s or just dream forever in my bizarre subconscience.
Not much else to report about the weekend other than that…….There was some Competitive PS3 Buzz Trivia World that went on……but yeah…..that hasn’t made the news, YET…..
Right now I moved to Camp DragonFly b/c Mr. DragonFly was getting on my nerves but I am almost out of champagne so I might move soon…or just get more champagne & come back……
Sasha has shoveled out a nest next to me & speaking of I have to go check on Mamma Yiska….see Yiska Lays An Egg
Yiska laying an egg was funny @ first but not so much anymore….and let’s hope this is the last of this…….
Fuck Yiska just laid another fucking egg…..SERIOUSLY…..I am going to put the following poster next to her cage—–
And fuck all of you that know about photo shop…..I only have fucking stupid ass paint & NO SKILLZ so this was the BEST I could do especially b/c rough night and the champagners & all…..so there:


Ok…..you are alll caught up on the weekend, I think…….CHEERS