Sandwich Interrogation

Posted: June 7, 2010 in buzz/ drunk blogging, random, stupid shit, Uncategorized

Do you ever question the food you order?? Maybe in your mind….but have you really actually questioned the food…..You never know there may be answers…..
Tonight I decided to question my Chicken Sandwich…Sam…..I asked for wheat bread and he was delivered on WHITE….already he has the look of shame. I tried to reassure him, but he oozed mayonnaise soaked tears….I suppose it didn’t help that before I decided to directly address the sandwich I ate his other half…..I didn’t catch her name, but her mayonnaise tears were shared.
So now left with just ‘Sam’…I wonder about his past b/c I have never questioned a sandwich. I asked him if he always thought of himself as a sandwich as a little ‘over looked lunchable’ perhaps…meant for better things.
Sam is @ a nice hotel brought to me by room service, but I can see how this also can be degrading because when they lift the top of the room service tray they turn and ask “Will This do?” as if it is a puppy that will be returned and shot if not good enough.
Of course, I accept ‘Ole Sam’ and then start looking at him inquisitively…It’s obvious he is miserable….I think he came that way before I ate the other half.
So I press on asking if he had hopes of his own…..did he see signs for ‘Relief Efforts’ and want to be a volunteer not thinking of himself, a loner, a rebel.
He won’t talk to my but the face of a sandwich says a 1,000 words and all of them insinuate a shrugging of the shoulders and the return question…Why am I HERE?!
Sam…..I don’t know why you are or why I am even here so let’s just call it a night…..
He looks even more sad when I put the chips all over him…..kind of like an eccentric Uncle that is like ‘Why Me?’
There is a tiny Salad on the side of the plate that is young is showing interest in Sam…..maybe by tomorrow he will be happy but in the morning, I will probably eat Sam, and thus break Salad’s heart….and then will have to ask other salad’s from now on what kind of romantic soul I destroyed.
See Most people over look these conversations….b/c they have had enough sleep and this is ridiculous, OH but NOT me…..
You can count on me to be stupid, and/ or ridiculous at ANY time…….

Comments
  1. bhaddad says:

    That is awesome!! And the reason I make sure my food products’ heads are removed before I eat them.

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