Archive for June, 2010

A resurrected writing, I came across—-

Things You Didn’t Know About Me & Didn’t Want To Know— That will be the title of my autobiography.
We’ll start at the beginning….Chapter 1: When I Was Little
1. When I was little….I used to try to leave the house in my nightgown b/c it was so beautiful surely people would think it was a dress.
2. I changed Hide & Seek to James Bond and when you found the person they were automatically killed.
3. I used to make my brother run around the backyard pretending to be my prized horse Black Beauty.
4. When my Mom and I would go to the store if we bought a bag of beans or rice I would carry it around like it was my baby.
5. I was to shy to say UNO so I would always lose.
That’s as far as I got

Do you ever question the food you order?? Maybe in your mind….but have you really actually questioned the food…..You never know there may be answers…..
Tonight I decided to question my Chicken Sandwich…Sam…..I asked for wheat bread and he was delivered on WHITE….already he has the look of shame. I tried to reassure him, but he oozed mayonnaise soaked tears….I suppose it didn’t help that before I decided to directly address the sandwich I ate his other half…..I didn’t catch her name, but her mayonnaise tears were shared.
So now left with just ‘Sam’…I wonder about his past b/c I have never questioned a sandwich. I asked him if he always thought of himself as a sandwich as a little ‘over looked lunchable’ perhaps…meant for better things.
Sam is @ a nice hotel brought to me by room service, but I can see how this also can be degrading because when they lift the top of the room service tray they turn and ask “Will This do?” as if it is a puppy that will be returned and shot if not good enough.
Of course, I accept ‘Ole Sam’ and then start looking at him inquisitively…It’s obvious he is miserable….I think he came that way before I ate the other half.
So I press on asking if he had hopes of his own…..did he see signs for ‘Relief Efforts’ and want to be a volunteer not thinking of himself, a loner, a rebel.
He won’t talk to my but the face of a sandwich says a 1,000 words and all of them insinuate a shrugging of the shoulders and the return question…Why am I HERE?!
Sam…..I don’t know why you are or why I am even here so let’s just call it a night…..
He looks even more sad when I put the chips all over him…..kind of like an eccentric Uncle that is like ‘Why Me?’
There is a tiny Salad on the side of the plate that is young is showing interest in Sam…..maybe by tomorrow he will be happy but in the morning, I will probably eat Sam, and thus break Salad’s heart….and then will have to ask other salad’s from now on what kind of romantic soul I destroyed.
See Most people over look these conversations….b/c they have had enough sleep and this is ridiculous, OH but NOT me…..
You can count on me to be stupid, and/ or ridiculous at ANY time…….